Items tagged with "gaming" on the iVirtua Community

Maybe videogames are hazardous to our health — just not in the waypeople usually think. Since the success of the Wii and its motioncontrollers, companies looking to cash in on the videogame fitnesscraze have concocted loads of accessories and controllers designed toget players jumping and flailing around the room.
It’s all fun and games until somebody gets a Wiimote in the eye.Here are the game accessories we think have the greatest potential fordamage.

10. Wi-Bowl
(CTA Digital)
As if enough televisions haven’t already been destroyed byoverzealous Wii bowlers, here comes Wi-Bowl. According to themanufacturer, the accessory lets you “mimic all the critical motions a’striking’ performance requires” and is modeled after a real bowlingball. Though the company advises that you securely fasten the wriststrap, we have a nagging feeling the real feel of the bowling ball willcause some players to forget they’re not at AMF Lanes and let go.(Watch out for Grandma’s two-handed toss, too.)

9. Wii Boxing Gloves
(Everlast)
These officially licensed gloves are meant to intensify your Punch-Out!! experience.But we worry that the padding on these gloves, which attach to the Wiiremote and Nunchuk, will give people the idea that it’s OK to punchtheir real-life opponents. The gloves come in black or red, the perfectcolors to match your kid brother’s shiny black eye.

8. Tony Hawk: Ride Skateboard Controller
(Activision, October 2009)
The new game in the popular skateboarding series will be the firstto include an actual skateboard peripheral. This sounds like a greatidea, but then again, isn’t the whole point of skateboard games to avoidthe injuries that real skateboarders endure? If you flip out on theboard controller, you can get skinned knees and take crotch shots inthe comfort of your own home. We’re waiting for the YouTube videos ofgamers grinding coffee tables and board-sliding down the basementstaircase. (Not to mention some of our suggested games for the Ride board.)

7. Dual Glow Sabers for Wii
(Dreamgear)
Yeah, like you’re not going to be smashing these together while making wreeeoooow noises with your mouth.

6. The Wii Balance Board
(Nintendo)
The Balance Board looks innocuous enough, but it asks players to perform physical feats they may not be used to. Games such as Wii Fit certainly test your balance with risky exercises like the one-legged yoga tree pose. EA Sports Activehas you doing karate kicks while standing on the thing. Some personaltrainers warn that the Balance Board can be dangerous if you don’t knowwhat you’re doing and, like Wii Tennis elbow, some gamers have beguncomplaining about “Wii knee” from using the board too much.

5. Music Orchestra for Wii Music
(Dreamgear)
This just makes our heads hurt, actually.

4. Bass Pro Shops Fishing Pole Peripheral
(Griffin International, fall 2009)
In order to bring a realistic fishing experience to consoles,Griffin International decided that we needed controllers shaped likefishing poles. And just like in real-life, if you cast too vigorouslywith people nearby, there’s a chance that your big catch of the daymight be someone’s nostril. Also, there’s no strap on this one to keepyour pole in place — casters, take caution.

3. Wii 8-in-1 Weapons Bundle
(Dragon)
OK, seriously? This bundle of Wii peripherals includescontroller attachments in the shapes of swords, knives, axes, guns and,thankfully, a shield. Anyone who doesn’t cringe just a little bit whenthey look at this should switch to playing Tetris for a while.

2. Project Natal
(Microsoft, release TBD)
Project Natal isn’t close to being released, but we can alreadyenvision all the injurious possibilities the advanced motion controllerwill present. Microsoft made fun of Wii’s “pre-canned waggle gestures”at E3, but at least you don’t run all around the room using theWiimote. Natal seems like it will let players exert themselves in allsorts of ways, asking them to flail their limbs in different directionsfor certain games. Nintendo decided to sell a protective plastic condomthat fits over the Wiimote; what will Microsoft make us wear whenplaying Natal?

1. The Wii Car-Lighter Adapter
(Dragon)
Gaming in vehicles shouldn’t be restricted to handheld devices. Whynot bring your whole Wii? With the Wii car-lighter adapter, you can setup your console in the car, allowing passengers to play games on theroad. Because we’re sure swinging Wii remotes won’t be a distraction towhoever’s driving. Hell, why not live even more dangerously and bringalong the Wii bowling ball?

Chalk up the Lycosa as anotherattractive and cutting-edge peripheral made by Razer, but that's not tosay that this rose doesn't have its thorns. It seems as though there'sa flipside to almost every feature with the Lycosa.

Backlit keys aregreat at night, but these keys provided very little contrast during thedaytime for readability. The Lycosa is compact compared with otherkeyboards, but this comes at the cost of having no additional macrokeys. And the flashy appeal of its glossy finish only takes a daybefore fingerprints tarnish its surface.
On the other hand, the Lycosa slips in some features that merit itsprice tag. Razer continues to evolve its software for peripherals, thistime allowing users to program any key on the keyboard. We don't recallany other keyboard that can do that. Also, the laptop-like keyssurprised us with some solid tactile, and clicky, feedback, despitetheir appearance. We're also happy to see that users can store multipleprofiles and disable that annoying Windows key that can prove to be abuzzkill when pressed mid-frag.

Software and Macro Keys
Without the aid of Razer's software, the Lycosa would be nothing other than a fancy keyboard that lights up. Users can program any key they want and toggle between up to ten profiles, thus providing a virtually endless amount of macro capabilities. This does come at the expense of surrendering existing keys you may want for other things. Remapping keys on the number pad doesn't affect the numbered keys in the main typing area, or vice versa. We found the F-keys as great guinea pigs for our macros.

Razer has a reputation of having a sleek, cool-looking software interface, though we'd prefer something a little less edgy and a little more usable. You'll have to scoot towards the screen to view all of the included options. They're so small.

Software and Macro Keys
Without the aid of Razer's software, the Lycosa would be nothing other than a fancy keyboard that lights up. Users can program any key they want and toggle between up to ten profiles, thus providing a virtually endless amount of macro capabilities. This does come at the expense of surrendering existing keys you may want for other things. Remapping keys on the number pad doesn't affect the numbered keys in the main typing area, or vice versa. We found the F-keys as great guinea pigs for our macros.

Razer has a reputation of having a sleek, cool-looking software interface, though we'd prefer something a little less edgy and a little more usable. You'll have to scoot towards the screen to view all of the included options. They're so small.

There's no denying that the Lycosa is one sexy beast. Promotional pictures highlight how well the Lycosa shines at night, but that's not the whole picture. When this thing is plopped on your desk, in daylight, its true colors come out.

Physically the Razer Lycosa is neither the largestkeyboard I have seen nor the smallest. The Lycosa measures in at 469mmx 168mm x 15mm without the removable wrist rest and 669mm x 221mm x15mm with the wrist rest attached. The wrist rest itself is matte blackin color with the same look as the keys, but lacking the non-sliprubber coating.

One of the casualties of having a fully backlit keyboard is that, during the day, key labels aren't as conspicuous—even with backlighting set. Each key label must be clear enough to allow light from underneath to shine through, but we felt that there wasn't enough contrast between the key labels and the keys themselves. Heck, the keys reminded us of the DAS keyboard II—the keyboard with blank, black keys. Logitech's G-series and Saitek's Eclipse II keyboards both provide fully backlit keys, and a key (pun intended) to their success is that labels are bright and easily read. Obviously anybody who buys a backlit keyboard will use it at night, but that's not to say that they'll toss it aside during the day for another keyboard.

Razer Tarantula:

Razer Lycosa:

Now, let's look at that pristine glossy finish surrounding the keys. Anybody that owns a keyboard with a similar surface (like the diNovo Edge or Tarantula) knows that it deserves a little housekeeping once in a while. This area is a magnet for fingerprints and blotches when the light hits it just right. Some keyboards and mice with this type of surface even come with a cleaning cloth, but there wasn't one included with the Lycosa.

While the multimedia TouchPanel has its artistic appeal, it doesn't help with usability. For starters, you have to have backlighting on just to view the controls. Secondly, anything touch-sensitive spawns no tactile feedback, and given that there are numerous options to choose from, all sitting close to each other, pressing the wrong control can be a common occurrence.

These are some of the issues we encountered regarding the Lycosa's look and feel. As for some positives, we were impressed with the keys. Despite their short vertical height, keypresses yield positive tactile feedback, with a slight clicky sound. They don't feel quite as mushy as the Tarantula, and are in no ways as clicky as the old IBM keyboards from yesteryear.

Shorter keys mean less pressing and faster typing, especially given the Lycosa's 1ms response time. We didn't notice any improvement in our typing speed, but this is something hardcore gamers may find appealing.

The Lycosa also has a sturdy exterior, despite its smallish size compared to other gaming keyboards. It planted itself rather firmly on our desk without sliding around—thanks in part to its six rubber feet.

It's cheapest at Ebuyer:
http://www.ebuyer.com/product/143289

Fully-programmable keys with macro capability
Be one step ahead of the competition with fully-programmable keys with macro capability that enable instantaneous command executions.

    *  Keytop with non-slip rubber finish
    * Backlight illumination with WASD cluster lighting option
    * Fully-programmable keys with macro capability
    * Gaming cluster with anti-ghosting capability
    * Slim keycap structure with Hyperesponse™ technology
    * TouchPanel™ easy access media keys
    * Gaming mode option for deactivation of the Windows key
    * 10 customizable software profiles with on-the-fly switching
    * 1000Hz Ultrapolling™ / 1ms response time
    * Earphone-out and microphone-in jacks
    * Detachable wrist rest
    * One integrated USB extension port
    * Razer Lycosa Approximate size:
      469mm (length) x 168mm (width) x 15mm (height) – without wrist rest
      469mm (length) x 221mm (width) x 15mm (height) – with wrist rest
System Requirements for Razer Lycosa
Windows® XP / x64 / Vista / Vista64
PC with built-in USB ports
CD-ROM drive (for drivers)
At least 35MB of hard disk space (for drivers)

I wouldn't say you're wrong. When you said you preferred 95 over 98, I'm assuming at that time, you weren't using 98SE and you preferred 95b. The updated versions of both OSes are significantly better than their first release. I completely agree with you on the Vista thing, everything you said about that is completely true. Although Vista isn't good for gaming at all, you need far too powerful of a computer for it. I use XP and Linux, I wouldn't keep an install of Vista if someone gave it to me. But like I said, I don't think Windows 95 is bad or people using it is bad but every reason that guy came up with was so wrong, and I felt I proved my point fairly well.

Schmidt I disagree. I find the points raised quite vaild. I personally went from 95 to 98 then got a new machine & went back to 95 ( about the time ME crashed & burned ) I found it to be stable IMHO more so than 98 at the time. Having recently shifted from XP to Visa I can feel his pain. The constant need M$soft have to reinvent the wheel with every release makes me want to go postal. Rather than make it a logical progression from one OS to the next it's a random reassigning of elements for the sake of looking new. The start menu & control bar are the two culprits I'm looking at. Using vista only for gaming & coming from OSX the sheer disorder & inelegance makes my blood boil. Honestly how much of the new system do you really use ? Compare the functionality of older versions with current & think about all the bloat that is a major problem for M$oft programs. I can see & agree why a user would want to stay with what is safe & works. If it ain't broke ( or more likely the case if it breaks it more ) don't mess with it.

Schmidt I disagree. I find the points raised quite vaild. I personally went from 95 to 98 then got a new machine & went back to 95 ( about the time ME crashed & burned ) I found it to be stable IMHO more so than 98 at the time. Having recently shifted from XP to Visa I can feel his pain. The constant need M$soft have to reinvent the wheel with every release makes me want to go postal. Rather than make it a logical progression from one OS to the next it's a random reassigning of elements for the sake of looking new. The start menu & control bar are the two culprits I'm looking at. Using vista only for gaming & coming from OSX the sheer disorder & inelegance makes my blood boil. Honestly how much of the new system do you really use ? Compare the functionality of older versions with current & think about all the bloat that is a major problem for M$oft programs. I can see & agree why a user would want to stay with what is safe & works. If it ain't broke ( or more likely the case if it breaks it more ) don't mess with it.

According to gamesindustry.biz
The videogames industry has set a new record in the US for sales ofsoftware and hardware, with 2008's level topping USD 21 billion acrossthe year, with almost a quarter of that coming in the supposedlyeconomy-stricken month of December.According to NPD data software sales grew by almost 23 per centto USD 11.7 billion, with December alone accounting for USD 5.3 billion- more than the total figure generated throughout the entire calendaryear in 1997.
Console game sales totalled USD 8.9 billion, based on 189million units sold, while PC games accounted for USD 701 million from29.1 million units, while portable titles sold 79.5 million units,hitting USD 2.1 billion.

The total number of games sold was just under 298 millionunits, with more than half of those rated at Everyone 10+. Teen titlesaccounted for 26.7 per cent of the market, while Mature games were just15.9 per cent.

I think it's amazing that something great is staying strong in our economy. It seems like the gaming industry sometime's get a lot of blame for things but it cannot be blamed for getting weak in our economy. Buy games and keep it strong!!

Even I became a member of the Bejeweled family and I'm not big on computer games. It's good to see that the gaming industry isn't losing money in the crisis....

Well, I agree with the fact that women are just as competitive as men. But I can't necessarily say that about what games they "can" play. I mean I'm a hardcore gamer, not just a "tetris girl". I've played GTA IV online, too, and am very competitive.
And I can handle more than one button. I can handle the whole controller, in fact.
So yes to the competitiveness, no to the limited gaming.

PC game hardware worth $34 billion by 2012
A report from Jon Peddie Research says the market for PC game hardware is larger than the market for game software. And PC gaming is bigger than console gaming.

Publish Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2008 07:40:00 PST
Read more...

Games and related industries professionals (games developers,publishers and industry experts/ISPs/content agglomerators/set top boxmanufacturers...): if you canspare a few minutes, your opinion on an EU-funded digital gamingplatform project would be very much appreciated. Our research team inthe Department of Psychology at Goldsmiths, University of London, iscurrently working on an EU-funded digital gaming platform projectcalled Games@Large. As part of an industry consultation process we haveset up a short online survey. Any help in completing the survey and/or getting it out to other industry professionals would be great.
The survey (and links to project brochure) is at:

http://homepages.gold.ac.uk/ps-tec/galic

THANKS!
Dr Richard Carmichael
Goldsmiths, University of London

*obligatory I'm new here line

I didn't get an email or anything but I was looking for some gaming forums and this seemed like a good one, so I decided to join.

Anyway, I'm Lexie, I like bananas and pancakes,
playing online games and reading (although not at the same time!)

Well, that's about it

Hi everyone!

UK videogame industry leaders have demanded greater ties betweenbusiness and academia to ensure that Britain's games developers remainglobally competitive. But will any of them step forward to foster therelationship?
At games industry conference the Westminster Media Forum, held inLondon this week, Mary Matthews, Strategy and Business DevelopmentDirector at game developer Blitz, said that ineffective training isholding the industry back.
“We can’t do what we want to do because we can’t find the right people,” she said.
Yet, acording to Kate O’Connor, Executive Director of Policy andDevelopment at Skillset, an industry body for skills and training, UKuniversities already offer 80 videogame-related degree courses. Nonehave any industry recognition, however.
Paul Harris, Professor of Screen Media at the University of Abertay,Dundee, agreed that accreditation by game design firms is crucial. Hesaid it is the best way for universities to ensure that students’skills match firms’ requirements.
Matthews also called for a similar frequent refreshment of the curriculum.
Matthews has other ideas too, such as recruiting potential gamedesigners from the age of 14. In her view, this would help kidsestablish much earlier a link between enjoying games and developingthem, thus steering more designers into the industry.

However, no one appears willing to take responsibility for theproposals. Instead, both industry and academia are hoping thegovernment will do the job for them.
Margaret Hodge, Minister for Culture, Creative Industries andTourism, said at the conference: “The games industry must do more toencourage students to choose the right qualifications [for videogamedesign], such as maths and physics.”
The government, she said, also has plans in the pipeline to createof centres of excellence for videogame development where gaming brainscould unite to develop the next smash hit.

While talking to TGR, VP of Marketing and Development at Valve DougLombardi touched on the PC market in general and what Valve thinks ofthe stories regarding the fate of PC gaming. Lombardi told us:

“We have really been outspoken lately about that. There is this brokenstory about the PC being on the decline, right? And that is one ofthese things like that we are really sort of being cranky about rightnow and being outspoken about and saying, it is not the PC market thatis dying, it is the PC retail in the states that is dying.”

Doug backed up this claim with comments regarding the state of PCgaming in other countries. “If you look at the revenue that we aremaking from Steam and the revenue that Blizzard is making from World of Warcraft,"he told us, "and you look at the sales of retail products in placeslike Germany and cyber café business in Korea, etc., there is moremoney now being made from PC business then ever before and it isactually dramatically increasing. I mean our Steam year over yearrevenues are up over 190%.”

Translation: with the increasing popularity of MMO games and the hugePC growth in Korea, PC gaming is here to stay for a long time yet. Anystory claiming PC gaming is dead hasn’t researched the facts or, justlooking at the sales chart in America.

AMD is working on eight-way GPU co-operative rendering, the chip maker has revealed.
In an escalation reminiscent of the way disposable-razor maker areforever upping the number of blades built into their products, AMDspinner Chris Hook told Indian site Techtree: "AMD has already built a computer that has four 4870 X2s in it. So it has eight GPUs."
What he said next isn't recorded, but we can imagine a 'beat that, you f*ckers!' followed by an air-punch.
Competitive willy-waving aside, the two-GPU Radeon HD 4870 X2 boardwill go on sale in August, Hook said. It'll be made available in acouple of versions - sporting different clock speeds and/or memoryconfigurations, presumably - to allow AMD to hit different price points.

So will you be able to buy four of them and stick 'em in yourcomputer? You can try, but don't expect success: "Drivers will not besupporting eight GPUs at this point of time," said Hook.
Whether they will when the 4870 X2 goes on sale remains to be seen.And quite apart from a suitable driver, hooking up a quartet of 4870X2s is going to require some serious power supply technology, not tomention a very good cooler.

You. Your friends and family. Your classmates and coworkers. In thebrave new world of the internet, everybody has power. Information isinteractive, knowledge is collaborative and history is open source. Thenerdy kid next door has just as much influence as a high schoolteacher; the dorky dude at the comic book shop has just as much voiceas a college professor.
Problem is, the nerds and dorks tend to have a lot morefree time - and passion - than the teachers and professors. The endresult? A hilariously skewed, terrifyingly twisted view of the world inwhich all the wrong things are deemed "important" and worthy of seriousacademic discussion.
Here are 15 mind-boggling examples.

See what we mean? When the deadliest, costliest war in the history of mankind has been trumped by a videogame franchise about that war,you know something's off. One involved over 50 countries and took over70 million lives; the other involves button mashing and tea bagging.
On an encouraging note, we did have to add all the Call of Dutygames' individual pages together to reach the crazy number above. On adiscouraging note, we didn't have to add Call of Duty 4 and itsnon-WWII setting, which would have brought the total word count to aneven crazier 18,927.
Oh, and on a simply ridiculous note? Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare beats "modern warfare"... 5,858 to 2,873.
Also less important than Call of Duty!
• American Revolutionary War = 8,078
• American Civil War = 11,729
• English Civil War = 8,030
• Napoleonic Wars = 7,951
• Hundred Years' War = 7,992
• War on Terrorism = 10,674
• War on Drugs = 7,628
• Cold War = 10,117
• "War" = 9,233

While the magic menagerie of super-powered, frilly-maned, sparkly-eyed, rosy-cheeked wonder beasts might make for slightly more exciting cards than a Three of Spades, the emphasis here is still extremely wonky.
Poker has been around for longer than anyone can remember... the Pokemon Trading Card Game was invented in 1996. Poker has created millionaires and forced bankruptcy... the Pokemon Trading Card Game might have resulted in some lost lunch money and a temper tantrum or two.
Also less important than Pokemon Trading Cards!
• Baseball cards = 4,686
• Blackjack = 5,228
• Roulette = 5,492
• Checkers = 2,326
• Pool (Billiards) = 621
• Bowling = 407
• Wheel of Fortune = 4,521
• "Trade" = 3,038
• "Games" = 2,830

Before you get the wrong impression, no, the Master Chief does not win in a Wikipedia matchup against George W. Bush... though his approval ratings are undoubtedly higher.
The truly astounding thing, however, is that he does emerge victorious against not one, not two, but TENof this country's past commanders in chief. Yes, 23% of the men whohelped make the United States the strongest nation on Earth are easilydefeated by a fictional and faceless videogame character who barelyknows how to speak and takes orders from a naked hologram. Go America!
The orange word count above is an average taken from the USPresidents beaten by the Master Chief. Here's the full, patheticbreakdown:
Leaders of the Free World less important than Master Chief!
• James Monroe = 2,820
(5th President)
• John Quincy Adams = 3,457
(6th President)
• John Tyler = 3,431
(10th President)
• Zachary Taylor = 2,235
(12th President)
• Millard Fillmore = 3,631
(13th President)
• Franklin Pierce = 4,203
(14th President)
• James Buchanan = 3,888
(15th President)
• Rutherford B. Hayes = 2,686
(19th President)
• James A. Garfield = 3,915
(20th President)
• Chester A. Arthur = 3,078
(21st President)

In the future, when Captain Kirk is battling tribbles and Data islearning how to love, this lopsided comparison will make completesense. Why wouldn't the entries for the glorious Starship Enterprise dwarf that for a dusty museum piece like the automobile? We expect the pages for hoverboards, robot maids, personal time machines and giant laser death rays to do the same.

For the present, though, why does a make-believe spaceship deserve more words than the planet's principal mode oftransportation? Also, why does that make-believe space ship deserve noless than nine separate pages, including unique entries for six different models of the NCC-1701? Seriously?!

Also less important than the Starship Enterprise!

• Planes = 5,132
• Trains = 2,850
• Boats = 1,884
• Bicycles = 5,112
• Motorcycles = 5,446
• Shoes = 3,241
• Lunar rovers = 1,844
• Space shuttles = 6,217
• Space stations = 1,830
• Outer space = 3,000

You think Hideo Kojima's cut scenes are long? Try reading Leo Tolstoy's epic tome. War and Peace waspublished in four books over five years, covers nearly a decade ofhistory and includes more than 1,400 pages, more than 560,000 words andmore than 3 million characters. It's generally considered one of thelongest novels - hell, one of the longest things - of all time.

Somehow, though, the writers on Wikipedia managed to summarize thewhole plot in 1,922 words. Well done! Now we'd be really impressed ifyou guys could squeeze the plot of a single damn videogame - even therambling old man that is Metal Gear Solid 4 - into less than 2,548 words.

The top numbers (in orange) are for the entire entries.The numbers in the preceding paragraph, as well as the list below, arefor the subsections entitled "plot," "story," or "synopsis."

Also less important than Metal Gear Solid 4!
(by plot, story or synopsis)

• Romeo and Juliet = 770
• Hamlet = 780
• Moby Dick = 845
• Of Mice and Men = 288
• A Tale of Two Cities = 1,341
• Atlas Shrugged = 673
• The Hobbit = 465
• Citizen Kane = 430
• Casablanca = 834
• Chinatown = 854

We won't get jealous and play the competition card here. EGM isimportant, a veritable titan of the industry with a massive and devotedfollowing. Many of us here at GamesRadar include ourselves in that camp.

But come on... do the latest screenshots of Chun-Li'sthighs really carry more weight than the 2008 election? Do you reallyneed to know the review score for Turok more than you need to know thereasons for the recession? Is the dropping price of the PS3 morecritical than the rising price of gasoline?

Yes, Electronic Gaming Monthly - and any videogame publication - is totally worthy of 4,429 words. We just wish that Time and other vital news sources received the same attention.

Also less important than EGM!

• Newsweek = 1,393
• USA Today = 2,685
• National Geographic = 1,949
• The New Yorker = 3,874
• The Washington Post = 2,449
• CNN = 4,281
• Fox News = 3,758
• "Magazines" = 842
• "Newspapers" = 3,537
• GamesRadar = 201

We love, love, love the soundtracks to Final Fantasy... but someone put way, way, way too much effort into this Wikipedia page. The intro alone is nearly 700 words, lengthier than the entries for many singers, bands and genres. Rock and roll, the biggest genre of them all, doesn't stand a chance.

Of course, the vastness of the web was made to hold such exceedinglyniche minutiae, but even the fan who owns all of these compilationalbums probably agrees that they could have fit onto the page forgeneral Final Fantasy music. Unless that fan is the one who wrote this obsessive love letter to begin with...

Also less important than obscure Final Fantasy music!

• Beethoven = 6,268
• Mozart = 6,331
• Frank Sinatra = 5,743
• Kelly Clarkson = 5,849
• Amy Winehouse = 7,269
• Rihanna = 2,977
• Kanye West = 4,713
• Jay-Z = 6,658
• Nirvana = 4,157
• Radiohead = 6,495

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Jeffrey Dahmer was a cannibal, Charles Manson was a deranged cultleader and John Wayne Gacy, worst of all, dressed up like a friggin'clown. Yet the complete list of these horrible, horrible murderers -together with dozens of depraved others - is apparently about 3,000words less significant than the list of Maverick boss characters in the Mega Man X series.

And that's compared to the list of serial killers by country. Look up the list of serial killers by number of victims andthe difference grows to 6,000. Go ahead and add the two lists togetherif you want - at 8,000 words total, they still fall short of the sheerterror and infamy inspired by Cyber Peacock, Blizzard Buffalo,Overdrive Ostrich and Armored Armadillo. Ooh, we're getting chills justthinking about them!

Above: The true face of evil

Let's be honest. Who doesn't love Gardulla the Hut? Who didn't havea poster of Cole Fardreamer or Elan Sleazebaggano hanging on theirbedroom wall as a kid? Who wouldn't beg their parents to buy them thatKlaatu action figure for the holidays?

Qwi Xux, Plo Koon, 2-1B, Chief Chirpa, Yarna D'al Gargan, BaronSoontir Fel, Meewalh, Oola, Commander Cody, Baron Soontir Fel, TraskUlgo, Gartogg, Wam "Blam" Lufba and, of course, little Windy... all ofthem are forever entwined in our dreams and imaginations.

Clearly, the list of minor characters in the Star Wars universe should be seven times as large as the page on the Founding Fathers of the United States. Clearly.

Also more important than the Founding Fathers!

• Minor Star Wars droids = 10,105
• Minor Star Wars villains = 9,648
• Minor Star Wars bounty hunters = 5,236
• Minor Sonic the Hedgehog characters = 12,595
• Minor Mortal Kombat characters = 6,286
• Minor StarCraft characters = 5,640
• Minor One Piece characters = 17,446
• Minor Sailor Moon characters = 7,251
• Minor Gundam Wing mobile suits = 3,584
• Minor recurring characters in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine = 5,097

Heed our warning - Wikipedia is only the beginning. Soon, textbookswill have entire chapters devoted to fairies and fishmen. Languagestudents will learn Goron instead of Greek. History class will forgothe Romans for the Rito, while anthropology discards the Spanish andSwedish for the Subrosians and Skull Kids.

Nonsense, you say? Tell that to the 730 million residents of Europe, whose deep and diverse ethnic backgrounds just got pwned by a bunch of elves, gnomes, talking twigs, golden frogs and mutant chickens.
Oh yeah, and Tingle.

Also more important than the population of Europe!

• Elder Scroll races = 8,489
• Pokemon types = 4,362
• Final Fantasy monsters = 6,637
• Halo aliens = 5,478
• Middle-earth orcs = 4,845
• Fictional cats = 10,248
• Fictional dragons = 8,651
(there are non-fictional dragons?)

No surprises here. After all, Superman (10,641 words) has been known to survive a nuclear explosion... inside his own ass. And Batman (10,818 words) invented his own damn brand of shark repellent Bat spray!

Obviously, these guys are far superior to the rest of us. End of discussion.

Above: Holy sardine!

Both the fictional Umbrella Corporation and the real world National Human Genome Research Institute studythe mysteries of genetics. Both engage in the cutting edge field ofbiomedical engineering. Both are located in small towns. Both haveseemingly harmless, yet somehow creepy names. Both have seeminglyvague, yet somehow menacing logos.

Wait a second - are these two organizations actuallyone and the same?! Has Umbrella been a front all along, a clever ployto distract us from the true zombie overlords? We knew that tiny word count seemed suspicious...

Above: Oh shit.

According to Wikipedia, Kirby is "a small, pink, spherical creature with large red feet."

Exactly. Done. Enough said. Oh, if only that were the case...instead, that is merely the first sentence of a 1,512 word subsectionentitled Characteristics, which goes on to describe - in disturbinglydetailed sub-subsections - the Personality, Abilities and Species of Kirby. Yes, species.

The dog hasan overall longer page, sure, but the fact that Kirby's"characteristics" actually overcome those of man's best friend isabsolutely insane. They shouldn't even be close.

As expected, Jesus whoops Mario byquite a large margin in total Wikipedia word count. In a miraculousturn of events, however, Mario's Legacy section is actually longer thanJesus' Legacy. Yes, you heard right - a pixelated plumber is consideredto have had a bigger impact on the world than the central figure ofChristianity and, to some, the physical embodiment of God. Wow.

Then again... Jesus can walk on water and heal the sick,but Mario can shoot fireballs out of his hands and turn into a raccoon.Jesus has an awesome beard, but Mario's got a super sweet mustache.Jesus ushered in much of modern religion, but Mario ushered in much ofmodern gaming. Both can come back from the dead, though to be fair,Jesus only did that once.

Dunno, seems like a tie to us

Also less important than Mario's legacy!

• Albert Einstein's legacy = 153• John F. Kennedy's legacy = 436• Susan B. Anthony's legacy = 252• Princess Diana's legacy = 196• The Wright brothers' legacy = 175• Mother Teresa's influence in the world = 117

At last, we reach the ultimate showdown. In this corner, we have God, who Wikipedia describes as:

"... the principal or sole deity in religion..."
"...the creator and overseer of the universe..."
"... omnipotent and eternal..."
"... the source of all moral obligation, and the greatest conceivable being existent..."

His opponent? Knuckles of Sonic the Hedgehog fame, who Wikipedia describes as:

"... a red, teenage, anthropomorphic echidna..."
"... the fourth most popular character in the series..."
"... shy around girls..."

And, uh, yeah. How did this guy beat God by more than 4,000 words again? Well, to reach Knuckles' number, we did have to add two pages together, one for his game character and one for his comic character. To level the playing field, we should probably give God the Bible or something, right? Of course, we'll also have to give Knuckles his comic books and two videogames (Knuckles Chaotix and Sonic & Knuckles) to keep things even...

Damn! Sorry God - you lose again. Looks like we have a new omnipotentoverseer in the universe... or at least in the strange, silly, scaryand seriously skewed universe that is Wikipedia.