Its Halloween! Spooks, Specters and Spyware!

It was late, I had put off going to the Software Convention
till the last minute. I just had to watch my favorite show
on TV, "S-Files".  Its that episode where the Computer
Salespeople all turn into Pod People and ,,,,well never
mind. Its really scary!

So I'm driving down the lonely one lane road from my house
to the Convention. Its dark and the shadows are creepy, I'll
never watch S-Files again, I swear! I pull into the parking
lot, the convention is being held in the old YMCA. Geez, its
dark, only 1 parking lot light and its flickering on and
off. As I walk up to the entrance, I remember the old story
about how, back in the Dot.Com days, when they tanked, the
building was used as a makeshift morgue, to hold all the
bodies of the CEOâ€™s who committed suicide.

I get this really creepy feeling on the back of my neck as I
go in,,,,oh, its just a Linux software salesman at the first
booth. Is it my imagination or are his eyes glowing?

I head to the registration desk to get a program. I see the
place is kind of empty, guess cause its so late. Well, I'm
here to see who is offering the latest demos and what kind
of freebies I can score.

The front booths are usually the big sellers and they never
give away freebies or demos. So I head to the back, hmmm,
the lights back here are terrible!

Here's a booth, Anti-Spyware 4 U. The salesman shuffles up
to me and says "Please take a demo of our new product". I
look at it, it says this is the latest greatest software to
combat Spyware. I take the CD out of the plain paper cover
and look at the Logo. Its just a plain shiny cd? Wow I can
see myself in it I remark.

"We spared no expense" a voice says behind me, making me
jump. I didn't even know he was behind me. Wait, I should
have seen him behind me in the reflection off the CD. I I've
got to be imagining things I say to myself.

I ask the salesman for a brochure about their other products
and as he hands it to me, our fingers brush each others.
Jeez! His fingers are as cold as ice! Well, he is a salesman
after all.

I thank him and head off to the other booths, seeing that
I've gotten here too late after all, everybody is leaving. I
decide to swing by the refreshments table to see if I can at
least get a drink and some cookies.

It sure is dark in here I think again as I come up to the
table. As I scan the table, a little old lady comes up and
asks me if Id like any milk and cookies. Yes Mam I reply.
She hands me a little plate with cookies and paper cup of
something white. I assume its milk, but its so dark in here!
And there seems to be a fog or steam on the surface of the
milk. Well beggars cant be choosers I think to myself  as I
thank her. She gives me a freaky cackling laugh as I turn
away, stunned I turn back around and to my Horror, there is
no-one there! Where in blazes did she go ?

I'm out of here my mind screams to me as I head for the door
at a ever faster walk. In a minute I'm in my car with the
doors locked and the engine warming up.

Whew, That was the strangest Convention I've ever seen. All
the way home I've got a death grip on the wheel, just
waiting for something to jump out of the shadows. Like a IBM
salesman, now that would be scary!

If only I had known the other horrors that awaited me! I
breathe a sigh of relief as I close and lock the living room
door behind me. Still shaking my head I head over to my
computer to try out this latest and greatest Anti-Spyware
Software. As it boots, I get a message to disable my own
Anti-Spyware program. I thing this odd, but I remember
reading somewhere online that some programs can conflict
with others so I comply.

After a few seconds I get a message that the new Program is
installed and it needs to connect to get possible updates.
So I get online and let it do its thing. A reboot is needed
it says, OK so I reboot. The computer comes up and I get
online to check out the latest results of the Mullet
contest. what's this ? This isn't my Homepage, itâ€™s a site
where you can ,,,Holy Hand Grenades! Its Porn!

I close the Browser and man alive, I'm beset by about a
dozen pop ups offering me things that, well, no decent
person would want. I'm figuring now that I've been had by
this Anti-Spyware CD.

I do a Restore and get back to my Online Mullet competition
site. Then I remember that I need to transfer some money in
my savings to my checking account. So I head to the Bank
site and take care of it. I must be tired, the computer
seems slow to me. I check my mail and the wait to login is
frustrating.

I decide to call it a night. I'll take care of it tomorrow.
After a tossing and turning night and dreams of my computer
melting, the new day dawns. With a cup of coffee I head to
the computer to see who won the Mullet Contest. The boot
takes forever and the login freezes the first time so I have
to power off and back on again.

I'm really mad by now. I've been had by some sleazy software
company! I finally get online but the Mullet competition
site wont load. I cant tell if itâ€™s the computer or maybe
the online connection.

As it dawns on me that I'm going to  have to take it in for
service, I hope I've got some extra in my savings to cover
it. I head to the Bank site but it wont load either. Then I
notice the Hard Disk light blinking away. I'm not doing
anything at the time so it shouldn't be accessing anything.
Cursing, I turn the computer off and pick up the phone to
call the bank.

I get a live person after waiting only 5 minutes so I figure
the day may be improving. I give her my account info and she
comes back saying "I show that account being closed last
night after all money was withdrawn"! .

There must be a mistake I say, she checks it again and says
its true. The money in the account was transferred to a Bank
she has never heard of in ,,,,Transylvania of all places. As
I hang up in shock, I could have sworn I heard her laughing
just like the old lady at the convention did last night.

I figure I better head to the Police Station to get some
help. In a Panic I head for town. As I make the last turn
into town, I glance towards the location of the YMCA, where
all this started, only to see its not there! Its burned to
the ground! Stunned, I stop in the street and get out.
Nothing but ashes. The Man in the car behind me gets out and
asks me if I'm ok. I mumble I'm lucky to be alive, I could
have died in there last night. Puzzled the man says, but the
YMCA burned down 2 nights ago!

As I get back into the car, I glance at the spot on the seat
where I put the CD and the Pamphlet. Gone. Just a little
pile of dust. At the Police station, a sergeant takes down
my story and informs me I've been the victim of online
Identity theft. As I'm leaving, A couple of kids run by, in
costumes, yelling "Happy Halloween"

Are you scared ? You should be!

About the Author:
Doug Woodall writes to educate about computer security.
He also hopes you visit his website at
http://www.spywarebiz.com the next time you need a computer
security product.